May You Have a Life With Little Worries

Shelach


I seem to have this discussion every Purim. A guy who has had a little too much (or perhaps too little after all it is Purim) invariably disagrees with me. I have come to the conclusion that there is a percentage of people – albeit a very small one - who have a life without problems. As people are sampling from trays of delicious stuffed cabage and brown rice and divrei Torah are flying fast and furious, a soft voice declares:

"Chaim you are wrong. No, EVERY ONE has problems."

This person (though I am only giving what might be examples of what a person says) tells me of things like his debts, or a child of his who he and his wife are very concerned about for whatever reason, a sister who is quite older and not yet married... I ask this person if life is worth all the strife. It may take a minute, maybe two, but invariably he agrees it is.

Even when it isn't Purim, if a friend or acquaintance is sincere, I tell them of what I would like to have better in my life. Upon the the conclusion to my list of woes there always seems to be the same reaction:

"Don't think you are the only one. Everyone has problems."

In the history of our galus things change and of course the types of problems change but one thing remains the same. Life always has had its share of hardships and difficulties – or so all the people I speak to would tell me.

For the most part there was an exception to this rule, the Dor Hamidbar. They did not really have problems when you analyze. Think of it. There were clouds all around them. Food literally fell from the sky. No enemies could hurt them. There was no death. There was a miraculous cloud below. No one even got a blister. Laundry? Forget it; no need to bother with it.

Living in Eretz Yisroel in the days of Yehoshua, however, would come with it day to day challenges, to say the least. There would be crops that may or may not grow, hostile neighbors who would hate them, cold, heat. 'No thanks,' the Dor Hamidbar said. So the Dor Hamidbar, which tested Moshe again and again were taken aback by a life of challenges and problems? 'No more life on "easy street?' Thanks but no thanks. We will pass.

What they were doing was running from the life they were expected to have. To conquer Eretz Yisroel was their appointed task, what they were supposed to do, their destiny. A life of challenges in Eretz Yisroel was their calling.

Let’s ponder our various lives with problems: Like those with a child who acts up all to often but from time to time shows an unmistakable sweetnesss; a grandmother advanced in age who you loved going to as a little kid and now cherish each precious moment you have left with her. You the reader at this very moment may have on you mind how to deal with this and this person who is your boss who is making your life difficult. You like your job but you have been told it is important for your emotional health to deal with this boss .A delicate situation. Not fun to be sure. But what is the alternative?

Yomim tovim is stress. Let's be serious; especially Pesach! There are times we want to hang our heads as we are searching behind the refrigerator. But kedushas hechag, the festive meals, extra learning, relaxing of course, seeing loved ones, a sibling child grandchild or great grandchild even, saying the Mah Nishtana as they proudly smile beaming form ear to ear...who could beat it?! And can you beat taking in your fourteen year old asking such mature questions Seder night??

I was once a guest for Succos. It was chilly. The hosts had  a terrific time hosting. She remarked how it is always nice to have me and how it is good I always seem to come Succos. we marveled at waterfalls and pondered pictures of succahs from times of the gemarah. The Ushpizin was taught to a beginner who was really intrigued and that made those of us who were knowledgeable of our lofty heritage even more proud and intrigued. We waited for kiddush. There we were, ten people in a tight fitting succah. It was an enjoyable Yom Tov meal with delicacies to enhance the kedusha Succos brings and the conversation was lively.  As we were ready to leave it was clear that we all had a really good time. That was for sure. Then there was talk of a problem:

"Oh wow," the hostess sighed. "There are a lot of dishes to bring in!"

Were the dishes "a problem" well … yeah. It was late and I am sure she wasn't looking forward to all the work she would have to get done. But life has problems small, medium, large and extra large and life with problems can be really good.

Rav Sheya Twerski refers to a bracha: 'May you have little worries. 'Worries and problems are part of life and if all one has is little worries one is doing quite well.

The dove that came back in the time of Noach had an olive branch which represented "bitterness". But it was a very good "bitterness". It was called manoach or contentment because it was a bitterness which was earned. One earns a livelihood "by the sweat of one's brow". It often comes with hassles. It comes with the feeling of "a job well done", living in dignity. One can buy what one needs. Many fortunately can buy luxuries.

So let's not be cynical. Having people in our lives who we love and who love us, serving the Aibeshter, and just plain being productive members of society – in short, being alive – is  a really good thing. It is the very first thing we thank H-shem for every day.  But to enjoy those things you cannot escape it. All those things come with day to day challenges and problems. No way around it. I think you will agree it is well worth the difficulties that come with it. And after all what is the alternative?

So does everyone have some degree of problems or is there a percentage that doesn't? Whatever the case it ain’t ten percent that live problem free!

Not even close.

Let’s not be like the Dor Hamidbar. Let us learn from them. Let us not run from our G-d appointed challenges and all the problems which come with it. They did not get organized in approaching Moshe. It wasn't worth the effort for them. They were so not into a lfe of problems it was a problem for them to to take the effort to live without problems!

Life is problems and challenges, for some much more for some less. But life is well worth all the tzorus. So let’s enjoy and savor every minute of it!