May You Have a Life With Little Worries

Shelach


I seem to have this discussion every Purim. A guy who has had a little too much (or perhaps too little after all it is Purim) invariably disagrees with me. I have come to the conclusion that there is a percentage of people – albeit a very small one - who have a life without problems. As people are sampling from trays of delicious stuffed cabage and brown rice and divrei Torah are flying fast and furious, a soft voice declares:

"Chaim you are wrong. No, EVERY ONE has problems."

This person (though I am only giving what might be examples of what a person says) tells me of things like his debts, or a child of his who he and his wife are very concerned about for whatever reason, a sister who is quite older and not yet married... I ask this person if life is worth all the strife. It may take a minute, maybe two, but invariably he agrees it is.

Even when it isn't Purim, if a friend or acquaintance is sincere, I tell them of what I would like to have better in my life. Upon the the conclusion to my list of woes there always seems to be the same reaction:

"Don't think you are the only one. Everyone has problems."

In the history of our galus things change and of course the types of problems change but one thing remains the same. Life always has had its share of hardships and difficulties – or so all the people I speak to would tell me.

For the most part there was an exception to this rule, the Dor Hamidbar. They did not really have problems when you analyze. Think of it. There were clouds all around them. Food literally fell from the sky. No enemies could hurt them. There was no death. There was a miraculous cloud below. No one even got a blister. Laundry? Forget it; no need to bother with it.

Living in Eretz Yisroel in the days of Yehoshua, however, would come with it day to day challenges, to say the least. There would be crops that may or may not grow, hostile neighbors who would hate them, cold, heat. 'No thanks,' the Dor Hamidbar said. So the Dor Hamidbar, which tested Moshe again and again were taken aback by a life of challenges and problems? 'No more life on "easy street?' Thanks but no thanks. We will pass.

What they were doing was running from the life they were expected to have. To conquer Eretz Yisroel was their appointed task, what they were supposed to do, their destiny. A life of challenges in Eretz Yisroel was their calling.

Let’s ponder our various lives with problems: Like those with a child who acts up all to often but from time to time shows an unmistakable sweetnesss; a grandmother advanced in age who you loved going to as a little kid and now cherish each precious moment you have left with her. You the reader at this very moment may have on you mind how to deal with this and this person who is your boss who is making your life difficult. You like your job but you have been told it is important for your emotional health to deal with this boss .A delicate situation. Not fun to be sure. But what is the alternative?

Yomim tovim is stress. Let's be serious; especially Pesach! There are times we want to hang our heads as we are searching behind the refrigerator. But kedushas hechag, the festive meals, extra learning, relaxing of course, seeing loved ones, a sibling child grandchild or great grandchild even, saying the Mah Nishtana as they proudly smile beaming form ear to ear...who could beat it?! And can you beat taking in your fourteen year old asking such mature questions Seder night??

I was once a guest for Succos. It was chilly. The hosts had  a terrific time hosting. She remarked how it is always nice to have me and how it is good I always seem to come Succos. we marveled at waterfalls and pondered pictures of succahs from times of the gemarah. The Ushpizin was taught to a beginner who was really intrigued and that made those of us who were knowledgeable of our lofty heritage even more proud and intrigued. We waited for kiddush. There we were, ten people in a tight fitting succah. It was an enjoyable Yom Tov meal with delicacies to enhance the kedusha Succos brings and the conversation was lively.  As we were ready to leave it was clear that we all had a really good time. That was for sure. Then there was talk of a problem:

"Oh wow," the hostess sighed. "There are a lot of dishes to bring in!"

Were the dishes "a problem" well … yeah. It was late and I am sure she wasn't looking forward to all the work she would have to get done. But life has problems small, medium, large and extra large and life with problems can be really good.

Rav Sheya Twerski refers to a bracha: 'May you have little worries. 'Worries and problems are part of life and if all one has is little worries one is doing quite well.

The dove that came back in the time of Noach had an olive branch which represented "bitterness". But it was a very good "bitterness". It was called manoach or contentment because it was a bitterness which was earned. One earns a livelihood "by the sweat of one's brow". It often comes with hassles. It comes with the feeling of "a job well done", living in dignity. One can buy what one needs. Many fortunately can buy luxuries.

So let's not be cynical. Having people in our lives who we love and who love us, serving the Aibeshter, and just plain being productive members of society – in short, being alive – is  a really good thing. It is the very first thing we thank H-shem for every day.  But to enjoy those things you cannot escape it. All those things come with day to day challenges and problems. No way around it. I think you will agree it is well worth the difficulties that come with it. And after all what is the alternative?

So does everyone have some degree of problems or is there a percentage that doesn't? Whatever the case it ain’t ten percent that live problem free!

Not even close.

Let’s not be like the Dor Hamidbar. Let us learn from them. Let us not run from our G-d appointed challenges and all the problems which come with it. They did not get organized in approaching Moshe. It wasn't worth the effort for them. They were so not into a lfe of problems it was a problem for them to to take the effort to live without problems!

Life is problems and challenges, for some much more for some less. But life is well worth all the tzorus. So let’s enjoy and savor every minute of it!

Clarity. Ah Clarity. What a Joy!

Korach


A man named Korach, questioned if Moshe should rule.
In the end he was proven wrong, and looked like a fool.

But when he declared, "Rav lach binei Levi."
Many were confused, and they had to see.

Sure enough. No more doubts. The proof positive arrived.
And in the end Korach and his cronies, were swallowed up alive.

Later in this parsha it was proven that Aharon, was more special than the rest.
But the nation needed proof positive, so they did a test.

Sure enough, almonds grew from Aharon's staff, by a neis.
No more doubts. They were all gone. Such was the case.

Indeed doubts in life can be oppressive. What anxiety and anguish the can put us through!
What is right. What is wrong. Doubts about what path in life to choose.

Whom to trust. Whom to doubt. Of whom to steer clear.
Whom to embrace. Whom to fear.

We may not be on a sublime level to get answers from G-d above
But good advice is to ask a competent rav.

Dear reader...That you know what is true and what is falsehood. To you I wish
For a life of clarity, is a life of bliss!

In Every Generation

Behaalosecha


From the generation of the midbar, Moshe Rabeinu had incredible demands.
Yehoshua's generation was different, as they would settle the land.

So the sounding of the trumpets mentioned in this weeks parsha, were sounded in a different way.
Two great men, two different eras, two different days.

Just like those two, generations of old.
Each generation differs from the next one, so we are told.

And just like Moshe and Yehoshua, today's Gedolim who lead
Due to their great sensitivity, they succeed...

In delivering a message, tailor-made for us.
And in their insight and wisdom, we can trust.

We are told that in Europe, they could take rebuke so strong.
But today's leaders know that for us, it would be wrong.

Seforim in those days, may have stressed lowliness of self.
Our English seforim, however, stress high self esteem for good mental health.

Unfortunately the generation before us in America, didn't have a great yearning.
B"H, bli ayin hara, today, however, Jews are returning

Now due to the ba'al teshuva sensation.
Their is more of a stress on  the depths of gemara, in Jewish education.

May there come a day when there is no need for "trumpets" to inspire, rebuke, or keep people on track.
A day when there will be nothing in deed, or spirituality we lack.

When all generations: From Moshe Rabeinu's time until today, come together.
With one common harmonious blast of a trumpet, now until forever.

H-shem Will Help in Our Battles

Shelach


A young man valiently struggles to study Rashi
    "I have no fear,' he says.
            'H-shem will help me in my battles.'

A mother patiently struggles to discipline her unruly child.
        'I have no fear,' she says.
            'H-shem will help me in my battles.'

A bread-winner desperately struggles to support his family.
        'I have no fear,' he says.
               'H-shem will help me in my battles.'

A widow endlessly struggles to finally accept her loss.
        'I have no fear,' she says.
            'H-shem will help me in my battles.'

The young man improves in learning. The mother's child matures.
The breadwinner finds it a little easier to make ends meet; and the widow grieves a little less each passing year.

A wayward nation halfheartedly struggles to conquer a land.
    "We fear," the people say.
        "H-shem will not help us in our battles!"

This week as the boy, the mother, the bread-winner and the widow all learn Parshas Shlach.
    Disappointed they all say,
        "Why did the people not know, H-shem would help them in their battles??"

The First Step

Behaalosecha

"Bill" was never exposed to Yiddishkeit, and had all sorts of doubts.
Many of which, he could do without.

'Which book do I turn to? Where do I go?'
He was overwhelmed, and didn't know.

He was frightened by the thought of a lifestyle, strange and new.
All the time, not knowing where to turn what to do.

"Shimi" his co-worker, on the other hand, was exposed to Yiddishkeit since he was small.
A seder in spring, a succah in fall.

'I'd like to be mikareiv Bill, but with what technique?
'Who can advise me? With whom do I speak?'

Bill and Shimi both don't know, which avenues to take.
But for both of them to do nothing, would be a big mistake.

So Shimi takes his first step:
He calls a famous kiruv organization for advice.
"Be patient. Approach with love and respect.
"If you don't know what an answer is, that is o.k.
.
"Because if you need help answering a question Bill asks, we will instruct you what to say."

Bill takes his first step by asking Shimon a question:
"Shimi...? Shimon...? I had a question about Judaism could you clarify?
"I know you wear-I guess you call it a yarmulka-I just never knew why."

Through the weeks Shimi answers many many questions, as much as he is able.
Then proceeds to invite Bill, to his Shabbos table.
_____________________________________

Like Moshe Rabbeinu by the Yam Suf, and in this week's parsha by the Menora made of gold.
Moshe took the "first step", then recieved Divine assistance we are told.

To all those who proceed with ambitious mitzva projects, the advice is clear.
Take that first step. And the main thing is not to fear!

Moshe's Children

Bamidbar

A bris, a naming, a toddler on the run.

Pushing a stroller, in the mid-day sun.

A sleep-over, where the kids have a blast.

Amazed at how, they grow up so fast.

Booking a hall, hiring a band.

Making a chasuna has so many demands!

At last an ainekal arrives, perhaps a girl or a boy.

Who could imagine, one could know such joy!

_______________________________

But sadly you are denied, such pleasure.

No plays to attend, no arts and crafts projects to treasure.

No bar-mitzvas, or tuition to pay.

No kids to help with homework, or watch as they play.

No girls to send to seminary in Eretz Yisroel, or closeby here.

Who you can't help but miss, no matter how hard you try.

As loyal to the Aibeshter, you try to remain.

There is one word for it, and it is "pain".

For some it is an ailment, they can endure.

For others it feels like a "disease", that has no cure.

Hovever this parsha offers a consolation, which might bring some relief.

To the pain and suffering, which is beyond belief.

It says "the children of Moshe", but it does not speak of his sons.

Rather it speaks of Aharon's children, which can confuse someone.

Needless to say Aharon's sons were not Moshe's, that can't be true.

Or can it...They are his children, if one takes a  different view.

You see Moshe fervently prayed for Aharon's children, and taught them Toras H-shem.

So in a very real sense, he was a father to them.

So to loved ones' children, nephews nieces and friends.

Teach them, continue to love them, and pray for them.

I know this is not a panacea. The pain will still go on in your mind.

But a bit of solace, I pray you might find.